How not to be offended?
Why there are offenses
Even if you have a wonderful relationship with a person and both of you want only good for each other, it is still sometimes difficult not to be offended. Well, really! The best friend bought a stylish little thing that you have been unsuccessfully looking for for how long, and did not give (or at least sold) it to you, but put it on yourself! The chief criticized the well-worn project that you suffered. The husband did not notice the new hairstyle, and you’ve spent half a day because of her in the barbershop!
You can swallow the insult, endure. After all, all these people were not going to offend you! Just a stylish little thing on a friend looks great, the boss does not want you to spend strength, implementing the unfinished project, and the husband, when you came from the hairdresser, watched football and did not notice anything at all.
But swallowed insult is not going anywhere. It will remain and will gnaw you from the inside, absorbing energy. Meticulous American scientists have found that repressed emotions cause problems with the thyroid gland, and unforgiven offenses lead to cancer. So, you still need to learn not to be offended by your husband, your friend, or even people?
You can not be offended, it is impossible not to be offended
Insults can not be avoided, no matter how hard you try.You can only hide the insult, but it does not help. Therefore, it is better to give your offense a will and suffer from the bottom of your heart. In order not to spoil relations with people, it is better to suffer alone; you can even cry or in some other way get rid of adrenaline, splashed out in your blood because of resentment: run, stomp your feet. For such purposes, the Japanese came up with punching bags in the form of living people who can be smashed from the heart.
Just do not get carried away. They cried a little, admired how you suffer, so thin and vulnerable, and that's enough. The severity of emotions will be dulled, you can calmly assess the situation, put it on the shelves, who was right and wrong.
If there is still no peace of mind, you should honestly talk to the abuser about what has hurt you. But strictly observe several conditions:
- speak calmly, preferably with humor;
- talk only on the subject, without leaving the memories of old grievances;
- do not get personal.
How to learn not to be offended?
It’s best to try to minimize the amount of offense you get.To do this, it’s enough not to take everything too seriously. Remember the words of Munchhausen performed by Oleg Yankovsky: "All the greatest nonsense was done with a serious expression on his face."
If you thought that you were offended, smile and joke. For example, when you see a stylish little thing on a friend, pretend to be a three-year, naughty little girl, whimper: “I’m like a hotsu-yo!” You laugh, you’ll have fun. Husband, when he comes after the football to the kitchen for his favorite cutlets, it is important to state that you will not feed him until he evaluates his hair. Then he will appreciate everything for sure, so much so that you will like it very much.
With the boss, of course, more difficult. But the troubles from the authorities must always be ready and relate to them philosophically. He could have deprived the prize, but he did not deprive him! So, still appreciates, then I'm still good. And what yelled, so God be with him. Look at him as his face turned red, probably, the pressure rose.
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