How to be offended?
Quarrels in relationships occur in many. Each person chooses his way of behavior in the process of discord. Someone scandals, someone is crying, and someone is silently offended. The last variant of behavior is most often aimed at achieving a certain benefit, at changing the behavior of a partner, but it does not always end in success. It�s not so easy to influence people, the art of manipulation needs to be learned. So, let's see how to be offended correctly. Remember, you must act in such a way as to make it clear to the abuser that he did the wrong thing.
How offended men and women
Men and women are offended in different ways. Women, as a rule, defiantly pout, turn up their noses, play in silence, manipulating the behavior of a partner. But to understand that the man was offended, quite difficult. In our world, it is customary to educate boys in such a way that they consider offenses to be not masculine, therefore they hide them. Grievances accumulate over the years, killing warm feelings for a woman. So, a woman can lose her lover, even without knowing about the scale of the accumulated grievances. We recommend to talk regularly with your loved ones, to share experiences and joys equally.Do not forget to encourage your loved ones so that they would like to repeat the way they pleased you.
How to be offended by a guy
Often offenders do not realize that they did wrong and hurt someone's feelings. Your boyfriend is not a psychic. Tell your loved one a claim with the help of the psychological technique "I-statements".
- Sound the fact. In a nutshell, name the action (inaction) that does not suit you. For example, "You are sitting at a computer."
- Sound specific feelings that you have. Not "I feel bad," but "I feel sadness, irritation, indignation, bitterness."
- Sound thoughts. For example, "When I feel ... (the above), I think that you are not interested in spending leisure time with me, that you do not care about me."
- Voice the desire. For example, "I want you to give me 2 hours of your free time after work before you sit at the computer."
Thus, you yourself understand for yourself what exactly does not suit you, what is the problem after the fact that you want from a partner. Admit it, sometimes we ourselves do not know clearly what we want. You also inform your partner of your offense, but he does not guess at why you are blowing.Responsibility for the relationship lies on both equally. Using the full 4 steps of "I-statements", you work out 50% of your responsibility.
Everyone can be offended in silence, that is, they can influence a person through the emotional sphere. But consider whether it is worthwhile in this way to manipulate loved ones and loved ones, to play on their feelings. Resentment - the way of behavior of young children. Adults can find a common language through constructive conversation, they can make concessions. Share your feelings, do not hesitate, suggest what you are ready to go to change the situation. If you are dear to a person, he will also offer a compromise.
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