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How to Constructively Disengage From a Relationship
In this era of fast living, easy connectivity and lots of choices, it can be all too easy to become engaged, then disengaged multiple times with multiple partners. Yet, it's important to remember that there is a heart on the other side and it may well be that the other person isn't ready to get disengaged. When choosing the break things off, you must be considerate of their feelings and response to your decision. While you're not expected to stay with a person who isn't the right fit, there is always space to uncouple consciously.
Make up your mind once and for all that you want to quit.It shouldn't be the case that today you feel like quitting, but after few days you start carrying a bundle of regret and want to get involved again. Be absolutely sure before communicating this decision to your partner or lover. Take ample time to think about what went wrong and to question in depth whether is it beyond rectification. Make a sensible decision that comes from having a peaceful mind, for a mind that hasn't addressed all the issues will often make a reckless decision.
Think of the best time and way to communicate your decision to disengage to your partner.Relations aren't a piece of paper on which anything can be written or erased at your convenience. Maybe your partner is not on the same page and isn't at all ready to accept this. Just saying goodbye or just stopping any kind of reciprocation will bring about immense pain. As such, don't be selfish and just leave your partner without any communication. Remember that this can happen to you too, and what you sow so shall you reap. Don't play with anyone's emotions––instead, communicate, discuss and convince the other person that this outcome is the best and that it is in your mutual interests to bid goodbye.
Expect the disengagement to take time.Disengagement will be tough unless you both reached the same conclusion at the same time.Be prepared to face a tough time for a while. Don't think that if you show your back to your partner and start avoiding him or her, that it will give you a better result. It will induce more pain and suffering for your partner who deserves a clear explanation and the chance to ask further questions for clarification for a time. If, in spite of your communications and humble handling of the situation, your partner isn't ready to accept the fact that it's over, then be patient and try again later to convince them that there is no synergy in a relationship wherein both the people don't love each other to the same degree.
Let your partner know that you have prepared your mind.Explain that you are sorry if he or she is is adamant about trying again. Be firm but not harsh. Help him or her to see that this is happening for a good reason, and that the pain will eventually fade away. Tell your partner that you will be there for him or her as a friend, but not to expect intimate love anymore. Give it time, as it will take time for the other person to accept this fact graciously. Remember that he or she has a heart and a heartbreak is too tough to handle.
- If your partner has accepted your decision, try to make him or her comfortable for realizing you two aren't right for each other long term.
Be in touch with your ex if you think that this helps.However, at the same time, ensure that neither of you drift back to the past. Be kind and understanding, be generous and always think from the other person's perspective. And yes, wise people don't make the same mistake twice. It's morally better to be honest, loyal and dedicated to your partner. Don't just make relations for fun, ease or convenience - it hurts too much in the long run.
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