How to move on after being ghosted| How to move on after someone ghosts you . #askRenee
How to Handle Being Ghosted
Halloween is over, but the mysterious and heart-breaking occurrence known as "ghosting" happens even after the scary movie marathons end. Essentially, ghosting is when a guy you've been dating suddenly disappears off the face of the earth. And even though you might think that technology would make it harder for someone you're seeing to vanish without any explanation, well, it doesn't.
"I see this all the time with my clients," says relationship expert Rachel Sussman, L.C.S.W., author ofThe Breakup Bible. But that doesn't make it any less painful when that cute guy you've gone on multiple dates with doesn't reply to your texts—even though you can see that he opened them (thanks, iPhone). We asked Sussman why this happens in the first place and how you can keep a ghosting experience from haunting you.
Why Ghosting is a Thing
Technology might actually be what's making M.I.A. men and women more prevalent, says Sussman. Before Tinder or even online dating, people's friends or someone they knew would often set them up. That meant that if things didn't go well, you would have to be straight up with your date. Otherwise, things between you and the friend who set you up could get pretty awkward, says Sussman. But now that more of us are dating people we have no mutual friends with, it's easier to bail without warning when you're not that into it, says Sussman.
MORE:Never Say 'Hi' and 4 More Things I Learned From Going to an Online Dating Expert
Why it Hurts So Bad When it Happens
Any breakup can make you feel upset, but when someone just disappears, you're left wondering what the hell just happened. If you don't have a tangible reason as to why he doesn't want to see you any more, you tend to overthinkeverythingyou did, says Sussman. And when you can't stop replaying your dates over and over to try and figure out where you went wrong, it makes it even harder to get over someone, she says. Suddenly, that relatively casual fling is causing you long-term-breakup-level pain and confusion.
What to Do When You've Been Ghosted
Instead of beating yourself up about all the reasons why he would just ditch all communication with you, try to be thankful that the relationship didn't go any further, says Sussman. That's because people who disappear without a trace are probably afraid of confrontation, are insecure, and have a lot of trouble articulating their feelings, she says. In other words, you dodged a bullet, my friend. "Know that if you were in a relationship with that guy and there was a problem, he would probably handle it in the same way," she says.
That being said, you might feel the urge to reach out to him to see what's going on. Hey, it's possible something bad actually happened or maybe he thought you weren't into him. After you first notice that he's been M.I.A., wait a week before reaching out. Then, tell him that you hope everything is okay and that you'd like to see him again if he is up for it, says Sussman. If you don't hear from him within four days, drop it and move on, she says. "If he has any interest in you at all, he'll respond pretty quickly."
Once you've established that he clearly is not relationship material, it's important that you give yourself a little bit of an ego boost, says Sussman. You need to realize that you are not the first or the last person this happens to, and you're still fabulous. Then get back out there. (If your self-esteem needs a kick-start, check out what these 11 male celebrities say are the sexiest things about women—a.k.a. you.)
MORE:5 Relationship Rules You Should Stop Following Immediately
And if He Comes Back to Life Later...
If your ghost eventually reappears, make sure he comes bearing a sincere apology. It should probably sound something like, "I'm sorry, I was going through a hard time, but I really like you. I'd like a do-over," says Sussman. However, you should still be cautious about getting into a serious relationship with him since you know that he has a tendency to go AWOL. Oh, and if he contacts you with a, "Hey, what's up?" he's either bored or looking for a booty call, she says. Just say no.
Video: He Ghosted You? 3 Ways To Feel Better Fast - Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy
Johannes Huebl’s 15 Best Outfits (And How To Get The Look)
Exotic Halloween Nail Art Designs for this Year
How to Find Government Contracts
This Crispy Rice Salad Recipe Will Blow YourMind
How to Calculate Asset to Debt Ratio
The Stylist to Jennifer Lopez and Shakira Reveals All
How to Develop New Relationships
How to Grow Sweet William Plants
Il premio Hearst Film Award 2019 come migliore regia femminile va a Joy di Sudabeh Mortezai
Tag: Layered Hairstyles