How to understand that you are a toxic person
You notice that you find it difficult to communicate with people? That friends are not too eager to communicate with you, and you are increasingly initiating any kind of meetings? It's time to watch yourself - whether a cloud of unfavorable aura hung over your head. Isn't it time to take off the crown and look at yourself with eyes wide open, without charges, that everyone around you simply does not notice your brilliant kindness and friendliness. Most likely, you somewhere picked up toxic qualities and cover them not only yourself, but all around. Let's see if you meet the below mentioned symptoms? It may not be the most pleasant surprise for you, but the sooner you recognize a toxic person in yourself, the sooner you can work with some of your own flaws and, if you wish, overcome them.
Do you like to complain
If almost any person you know - from friend to colleague - can witness a monologue about your difficult fate and you think this is absolutely normal, then things are bad.Firstly, you have absolutely no sense of human boundaries, and secondly, it’s time to understand: nobody cares what you are chirping there and what is the depth of your discontent. It is important for you to take and pour all your troubles into your free ears and soul for a time. And then - you and a trace of a cold, and another person with this somehow live, even if five or ten minutes. Nobody loves the "eternal sacrifice," even you yourself. So admit that you are that victim, and agree with you what to do next.
Whatever the relationship, the drama
The drama queen is not the most pleasant type, although she usually pretends to be a charming and dreamy person. What is she like? First, it is an energetic vampire, forcing others to know everything that happens in its inner world. It seems to the Queen that her every feeling is extremely important to those around her. That everyone is obliged to know what her morning was like, what she noticed during the first cup of coffee and who the man turned out to be like, of which, of course, everyone already knows. All that a dramatic woman needs is the public and a demonstration of changing moods. Do you recognize yourself? Do you like to tell unfamiliar people the details of your personal life or “interesting” stories taken out of context? Congratulations! You are enchanting woman,able to bring anyone in a couple of minutes. Do not delay and run with this diagnosis to a psychotherapist. Believe me, this is the same toxicity that no strong nerves can stand.
You are a famous critic.
Perhaps in the company you are considered a person with a good sense of humor, bordering on sarcasm. Observe the most frequent topic of your jokes - are they aimed at criticizing other people? It is likely that you notice, like no one else, the flaws or flaws of others - they default to your eyes. Moreover, you are in a hurry to inform others about your observations, and in the worst case, go down to aggressive attacks on others. Pull yourself together. Sarcasm is a delicate matter. It is important to always remember where it is appropriate, and where not. Watch your comments and do not forget the golden rule in communication: sometimes silence is gold.
You are not always polite
Have you noticed for yourself how cleverly you divide people into good and bad? And from this division depends on your attitude to them. Well, for example, you are smiling with people in your circle, and those whom you consider to be lower than yourself are simply ignored. This signal is extremely unpleasant.And maybe you still inappropriately communicate, for example, with sellers or waiters? Shame and shame. This is definitely not a sign of your blue blood, but a manifestation of poor upbringing and banal disrespect for people.
You want to control other people.
Most likely, you position this feature as a manifestation of care. You like to control the closest relatives and friends - most of all, of course, goes to your husband or boyfriend. You are trying to control absolutely everything - actions, words, even feelings. If you can ask a loved one: “Why did you think here like this and not otherwise?” - this is a disturbing bell, not only for others, but also for you in the first place. When the partner has run out of patience, he will definitely say goodbye to you.
Favorite topic of conversation - you
Look at your friends: if calm, patient, seemingly dull people prevail among them, then you have provided yourself with the right audience. Strong personalities, leaders by nature, most likely, you do not like just because they will never endlessly listen to your talk about yourself. Watch the conversations with friends.If you are barely waiting, when your friend finishes the phrase, to quickly insert his "I have ...", then congratulations - you do not know how to communicate.
You have problems with empathy.
Your problems are the unsolvable end of the world. But all that other people are experiencing is nonsense, which can be solved in no time. It seems to you that you are such a sympathetic person, but in reality you empathize exclusively with yourself - the center of the world. With emotional intelligence, most likely, you have the same problems - you simply do not know how to genuinely empathize and put yourself in the shoes of another.
Do not panic! The main thing is to recognize the problem and start working with it. There are no intractable situations, there are only rose-colored glasses that you do not take off for some reason.
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