Seven traits of character that attract others
Imagine that there are two girls in front of you and you just made them a compliment. One replied: “Well, what a beauty you have here, I have extra weight,” and the other - “Oh, thank you, dear. I tried to". Which girl would you be more comfortable with? Most likely, from the second. The first has begun to doubt in your words, and after it you also have begun to doubt in yourself. Where is the comfort? He is not.
The development of their talents
All psychological literature says: "Do not stand still, develop." And I would have added: without development, a person has a lot of free time, which he spends. For example, useless clashes, conflicts and insults. And here's the secret: the more you have interests, developed talents, knowledge, the better you have developed neural connections in the brain. Therefore, if you want to attract people, find ways to constantly learn something. Sign up for Asian cooking courses, learn how to do kanzash, dance Irish dances, speak Chinese and do not get distracted by different skeptics trying to drive you into their frames.Fill your life with what you like.
Tell me honestly, do you like to wash the bones with your acquaintances? Don't worry, nobody here is going to criticize you. “Washing up the bones” in society helps to shed the negativity and briefly rise in one’s own eyes. But! Such a strategy is equivalent to eating chocolate cake: while you are cutting off a new and new piece, you feel good, and then you have allergies, caries, and extra pounds.
Therefore, if you want to be liked by people, if you don’t want your negative reviews about them to be passed on in a gossip-like chain, give up the slander. Get used to talking about others only good. Strain the memory and remember that you know the good about this or that person. Maybe he quickly thinks in his mind, breeds rare aquarium fish and so on. In a word, communicate in a positive way, and it will pay off with interest.
Recently, a good friend of mine, a business woman and an English teacher, created a group in the social network that unites creative people. On the main page, she encourages participants to write about themselves, to get acquainted, to invent common useful ideas, to meet: “Fill each other, make each other better.Know that the need to seek help does not mean that you are a weak person, it means that you are a wise, strong person. Learn from each other! Change the world around! ”And the group functions successfully, people meet at exhibitions and other events.
The ability to unite people is not an innate talent, but a quality that has emerged as a result of an enormous, productive experience in dealing with different groups. Ask others about them, their desires, successes, dreams, unite them for good purposes. And in return they will follow you.
The ability to create a cozy atmosphere
When I was in college, our students between couples for some reason gathered in the office ... secretary. The secretary was a sweet and sociable woman who constantly told us various interesting stories. In her office there were two aquariums with rare fish, and she allowed us to care for them; sometimes she gave us delicious tea with sweets brought from trips. And we helped her manually draw a huge schedule on the whole wall. And the director, a kind, cheerful woman, pretending to twist a frustrated grimace, tried to disperse us: “Do you have some honey on it?” The secretary, her wisdom and energy attracted us like a magnet.
If you want to attract people to yourself, create an environment around you where everyone will be comfortable and comfortable.
Not everything in life turns out the way we want it. Sometimes there is a lack of basic knowledge, sometimes patience, and sometimes both. And sometimes a person seems to know how to resolve the issue, but he cannot move from his place, as his strength has run out. For new resources and support, he comes to the closest, but often receives in response only notations, moralizing, and humiliation.
The most interesting thing is that even if you offer such a person a ready-made solution to his problem, this will not help either. Because that's not why he came to you. And for calm, for support, for the wish “Everything will work out for you!”. Therefore, if you want to attract people to yourself, it is not at all necessary to solve their problems for them. Just support - write or say a couple of encouraging phrases, take a hand, hug, invite to the cinema, to the beach, to a cafe, to the park.
Remember the interests of others
Once a girl asked me to "refresh the relationship." During the consultation it turned out that the relationship with the young man lasts six months and the couple plans to legalize them.But for some reason lately a young man is behaving "somehow absent-mindedly, tiredly", and his parents - "wary." We find out that the girl is absolutely not interested in the hobbies of the guy, criticizes them, for the holiday gives what is accepted, or what she sees fit. Plus, she absolutely does not know what the parents of her young man are interested in. What they live, what they do, how they are doing. “His mother is constantly sick” - that's all I could find out from her.
From this we can conclude: if you want people to love you, you are interested, build and maintain relationships through attention to them. Namely sincerely interested in their hobbies, hobbies, dreams. And if you do not share either one or the other, then at least do not criticize. It’s everyone’s personal choice, isn’t it?
By the way, knowing the interests of others will give you an extra bonus. So you will always know what to give them. For example, my colleague managed to melt the heart of an unfriendly boss with the help of ... rare violets. She just found out that she likes to grow them. And she gave her the coveted pot.
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