• The most unfortunate reasons to have children

    Why do people have children - a rhetorical question. Of course, there are a lot of typical answers to it, but very few people actually realize what they are doing. Complex relationships in the family or emotional detachment of the mother and child are in part the consequence of the adopted immature decision. Without a doubt, it is impossible in principle to prepare for one hundred percent in principle, and no one demands the attainment of an absolute. Moreover, it is never too late to catch up in parenthood, exactly how to get together and analyze the state of your motives to have a child, that is, to solve all the problems “on the shore”.

    "In the process will understand"

    Here we must understand very well: to be a mother means to give and love endlessly. It would be great to do it from the heart, and not from a sense of duty or guilt. It is difficult in the process itself, where there is a place of fatigue and life, to delimit all these concepts, but without sacred knowledge it is indispensable. You will need a child.A year, two, three, and even longer, he needs your participation until he begins to completely separate himself from all the others. This does not mean that you are chained to a baby twenty-four hours a day. Just you for him - the universe, nature, the essence of things. And the children, more than anyone else, read the distant thoughts of their parents, their unwillingness to be included in the mental processes and interests of the children. Can love be learned? Rather, it makes sense to look like a psychologist who will work out all the questions of your maturity, interactions with your own parents (so that you do not repeat their mistakes), will pull something important to the surface that will definitely come in handy before becoming a mom and be happy in the new status .

    The most unfortunate reasons to have children

    "We have been together for a long time"

    There are many couples in the world who have perfectly lived in perfect harmony over the years. Successful, inquisitive, traveling the world, they are so happy that they do not even think that something is missing next to them or someone. But when faced with a crisis, looking into any, even the most serene relationship, a man and a woman often interpret this as a sign to have a baby.Examining the real causes of conflicts and cracks, as a rule, no one wants or is not ready. It is so easy to shift the responsibility of two adults to an unborn child. The whole drama is that sooner or later the child becomes the cause of loud quarrels in connection with all unsolved problems. Vicious circle. Exit: take care of yourself and restore the atmosphere in your couple before you have a baby.

    “A child is my missing meaning of life”

    Surely you meet parents, uncontrollably guarding children. These adults show and transmit themselves at the expense of the child, revealing all of their deepest traits in playgrounds and gardens. They are incredibly diligent in what happened to them parenting: they put all the "necessary" things into their son or daughter, they know everything better than others and actively move their personal philosophy to the masses. Quite often behind this lies the not very full life of a man or a woman, for whom the child is a definite goal, filling the void in one’s own existence and inner content. Certainly, the birth of a child is a new twist and impulse, coloring the present and the future in new colors.But the child has nothing to do with your “intolerable lightness of being” - do not torture him and do not live your life through him.

    The most unfortunate reasons to have children

    "To be loved ..."

    Women who grew up in dislike - the most difficult subject of discussion. Usually they can not love - themselves or others - or they demand it from the others. In this case, from children. But for immature individuals, or, simply, for adult children, it is very difficult to have children: there is a lack of internal stability, stability of thinking and behavior. As a result, confusion begins, and it is not clear who is raising or raising someone. There is nothing to advise here, except to find out where your inner adult hid. Only with him you can really feel the readiness to become a parent.

    “They are waiting for this from me.”

    Let's guess who is so desperate for changes in your own life? Parents, is not it? “We were waiting for the grandchildren” - one of the most manipulating phrases in the world. After all, your parents are adults. And you are not obliged to bear responsibility for their boredom. Any favorable conditions that they hurry to create will not fill the missing emotional intimacy with the baby.There will be everything: a spacious apartment, ready to come to the aid of my grandmother, - but you yourself will hear from the emptiness, and after you this mood will catch the child. By the way, in a few years they will certainly say something in the spirit of "that would be the second to you."

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