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Three More Reasons I Might Be A Bad Mom

Apr 26, 2011

Some days I think I'm doing okay with this whole "being a mom" thing.

And other days I worry that the Department of Family Services might intervene. Below, the latest examples of questionable parenting.

I pimp out my dog to keep the baby entertained.Pre-baby, our dog rarely got people food. When he did, it was a special treat, scraped into his bowl after the humans were done eating. These days, I dump a few hundred puffs on Emmett's high chair tray and encourage him to hand them to the dog—one by one—while I make dinner.

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I'm totally okay with the fact that my baby's a daddy's boy.I love the time I spend with Emmett, really I do. But I also love, by the time the clock strikes 8, Rory is home to take over, and Emmett issooooexcited to see him. I know there are moms who get wistful when the baby is 100 percent engaged with dad, but I'm not one of them. I'm psyched I can write a few e-mails or fold some laundry without begging Emmett to play with daddy, "Just for five more minutes!"

My favorite way to soothe my baby to sleep involves high-stakes bribes.When Emmett is still wide awake after I click on the Sleep Sheep and sing an off-key lullaby—more often than not—I've been known to offer him large sums of money and super-expensive toys in an effort to get him to nap. (I mean, really, we don't even have room in our apartment for an electric ride-on baby Hummer.) Just this morning, I promised P. Diddy would perform at his sweet sixteen if he would just close his sleepy, sleepy eyes. No luck. Alas.






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Date: 06.12.2018, 09:53 / Views: 75165