Why even happy couples break up
One partner considers betrayal a betrayal, the other - a "reset" of relations
To begin with, not everyone regards monogamy as the only true ideology for building alliances. We know many examples from nature and do not cease to ask ourselves: OK, if monogamy has been the right decision for humanity, why have we changed our partners for millennia anyway? Esther Perel, a Belgian psychotherapist and author of treason books, compares an intrigue with a certain adrenaline leap: immersing in a relationship on the side with the same purpose as jumping from a parachute or conquering waves, feel for a moment this fear of nearness of death and driving from the danger of the maneuver and then return to the land again and feel alive even stronger.
One partner suddenly feels a thirst for change, and the other is completely satisfied
A button called “I want to dramatically change my life” can turn on at 18, 35, and 48 years old, and the catalyst, as a rule, is changes in the external environment: moving, career upheavals, meeting new people.In the best of circumstances, the partner decides to talk with his half and discuss what is happening, and in the worst case, he simply feels that he is suffocating in the routine of the same days with the same person, and wants to retreat quickly and without explanation. Since ancient times, the desire for settled life with the instinct of novelty and adventure fights in us, and the latter does not at all dispose to long-term relationships.
Sex life is coming to naught, and this does not bother one of the partners.
As a result, too little or no sex at all. One partner will even find positive traits in this and finally get enough sleep, while the other will hide their displeasure until it comes to conflict. Over time, the passion disappears, but not everyone reacts to her care in the same way: someone decides to seek the help of a specialist, examine the assortment of sex toys, or again start inviting a partner for a date to kindle fire, it’s an important part of the relationship, and that’s why they don’t grieve for his departure. But with nature (by the way, both with women’s and men’s, because it’s proventhat women after 35 years of age get more pleasure from sex than in 20!) and you can not argue with your own desires, and you have to look for what's lost on the side.
One partner finds comfort alone, and the other continues to insist on a close alliance
Now we live in a time when loneliness is cultivated no less than a standard patriarchal family with one or two children. And the whole point is that there are processes that can not be stopped: according to statistics, in the next two decades in the largest countries of Europe, only one woman out of two will have a child. And what will happen to the other? She, too, is unlikely to complain about life and will spend time studying, experimenting in sex, traveling or having fun with girlfriends ("Sex and the City" several years ago gave examples of this). If previously all the individuals were condemned, they were tried to find a couple, so that they would not "be sad", then soon we will see the opposite picture: single people will induce "busy" friends to take a break in their relationships, hang out, devote time to themselves and move the family back to a few years ahead or even try something new.
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